It's not my intention to get into religious matters on my blog. I'm certainly no expert.
However, I do know that the pastor in the US who is proposing to burn the Koran is offering a very weird form of Christianity.
As far as I recall, Christ preached acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness.
Hard-line Christians seem to forget that Jesus's commandment - "Love One Another" is poorly served by bigotry of any kind, be it anti-Islamic, homophobic, racist, whatever.
Infrequent musings and general comments on life, from the perspective of a UK psychotherapist.
Friday, 10 September 2010
Friday, 20 August 2010
"Look......" (that's an order!)
Listening to an interview recently on Radio 4, I noticed how frequently some of our politicians begin a reply with - "Look,..." and it made me angry.
Thinking back, I remember Gordon Brown using this intro, as did his predecessor Tony Blair.
Transactionally, it's interesting to note the two different levels of communication at play here. On the social level, "Look,..." is an invitation, and a plea for a kind of matey informality. 'Come on, I'll level with you....'
On the psychological level, though, there is a different message being delivered. A couple of possible interpretations -
"Look, (you clearly don't get it, so I'll have to explain it again)..."
"Look, (I have explained this before, so this is the last answer I will give to this question - don't ask it again thank you)..."
As Eric Berne suggested, the psychological-level communication determines the outcome of the transaction. So in their matey, friendly, I'm-just-like-you approach, these politicians are betraying a secret -
they really "look" down on other people.
Thinking back, I remember Gordon Brown using this intro, as did his predecessor Tony Blair.
Transactionally, it's interesting to note the two different levels of communication at play here. On the social level, "Look,..." is an invitation, and a plea for a kind of matey informality. 'Come on, I'll level with you....'
On the psychological level, though, there is a different message being delivered. A couple of possible interpretations -
"Look, (you clearly don't get it, so I'll have to explain it again)..."
"Look, (I have explained this before, so this is the last answer I will give to this question - don't ask it again thank you)..."
As Eric Berne suggested, the psychological-level communication determines the outcome of the transaction. So in their matey, friendly, I'm-just-like-you approach, these politicians are betraying a secret -
they really "look" down on other people.
Monday, 2 August 2010
Carl Gustav Jung
"Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble"
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Cameron & Clegg - Relationships in Action
The recent coming-together of the Conservatives and LibDems in the UK has given us all a lot to think about. In particular, it highlights the difficulties of being together with someone (or some party of people) with whom you feel less-than-loving.
This is often the situation in the therapy room with a couple. When tempers flare or resentments run deep, there is a real threat to the bedrock of the relationship.
Cameron and Clegg have recently had to go through a tough process... they've had to put aside, at least temporarily, their resentments and differences - in favour of a new priority, "the national interest". Both parties must now realise that their selfish interests might not be best for the nation. This shared project, the nation's future, is now dependent on a relationship to which they must contribute.
This process is similar to what the behavioural-systems therapists call "Decentring"...that is, putting your resentment to one side, and accepting responsibility for your part in the relationship (and of course, your part of the problem).
So, Mr or Mrs X, who arrives saying "well, it's him/her over there who really needs sorting out....." has to finally own up to being part of the problem (transaction). It can be a very difficult first step, but it's the best way to start the journey of maintaining a good relationship.
Of course, it can still go wrong. Watch out in the future - if the new 'coalition' breaks up, it might be accompanied by lots of angry protests and finger pointing at the other side. The mutually responsible position is easily lost.
This is often the situation in the therapy room with a couple. When tempers flare or resentments run deep, there is a real threat to the bedrock of the relationship.
Cameron and Clegg have recently had to go through a tough process... they've had to put aside, at least temporarily, their resentments and differences - in favour of a new priority, "the national interest". Both parties must now realise that their selfish interests might not be best for the nation. This shared project, the nation's future, is now dependent on a relationship to which they must contribute.
This process is similar to what the behavioural-systems therapists call "Decentring"...that is, putting your resentment to one side, and accepting responsibility for your part in the relationship (and of course, your part of the problem).
So, Mr or Mrs X, who arrives saying "well, it's him/her over there who really needs sorting out....." has to finally own up to being part of the problem (transaction). It can be a very difficult first step, but it's the best way to start the journey of maintaining a good relationship.
Of course, it can still go wrong. Watch out in the future - if the new 'coalition' breaks up, it might be accompanied by lots of angry protests and finger pointing at the other side. The mutually responsible position is easily lost.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)